We met online, on ICQ to be exact in the late days of 1999. After many inspiring chats I purchased a web cam so I could see this mystery man’s face. My daughter & I lived in an isolated area, a temporary spot while the dust settled from a marriage which had fallen apart, so there was really only one place to buy this web cam; Radio Shack.
My daughter was barely 8 years old and always asking questions upon questions about everything. We fooled around with this new toy and made our own little greetings. I got an awesome series of her and her girlfriend, Samantha, running back and forth behind me in the first few days that was actually a lot better than the straight faced personal profile video I was attempting to make.
A long story shortened, my future husband, and best friend appeared in the screen, and I on his for the first time. Truth is I was first shocked, because he was tan and had piercing blue eyes that looked like the sky and the ocean at the same time. Later on he admitted he was surprised as well at the image on his end, for other reasons.
As we went on in daily life we decided to meet halfway between the far reaches of Washington State, where I was and Sacramento, where he lived. This destination was Bend Oregon, where he was delivering an entertainment system to his son, who lived there at the time.
Jer said “look for the guy in the red Jeep truck towing an empty trailer, that will be me”. I replied “I’ll be the one wearnig purple in a blue land yacht”. 9 hours later we met in a parking lot. He didn’t say much about his son, but I learned a lot about his life as we drove in lines of traffic, mostly motorhomes looking for a restaurant, where we could stop eat and get to know each other. There happened to be a motorhome convention that weekend in Bend Oregon, which became our biggest obstacle to getting around those first few hours.
A month later my new friend came to where I was at, my daughter in the care of her Dad at my house, and we went on the ferry to British Columbia from Port Angeles Washington. Some friends of mine lived there and we spent the first night there. Next day I took him all the way over to the San Juan Islands to a place called Doe Bay which,, when you stand on the beach if you look directly across the Queen Charlotte Straights you can see the property on an island my Pop obtained about 54 years or so ago.
We enjoyed the natural Hot Springs and with snow on the ground stayed the second night in the little cabins there. A long hilly drive we wound up taking the long way back to my place because the waters were too rough for the little ferry that was the short cut to get to my place. Adding anohter 3 hours of driving time and an additional ferry boat ride, then 45 or so minutes more driving, and we were back.
I tried to keep it a secret from my daughters Dad but I was pretty sure she might have told him I had a new friend.
The next time he came for a visit he cooked up a Bar B Que on our back deck that could be smelled from miles around. The neighbors commented on it for weeks to come. And, we ate the food he prepared, some of which I froze for weeks as well. Oh yeah, and he had worn an awesome pair of cowboy boots too, the first thing to come off after he arrived. Those boots became the talk of our little home after this visit my daughter poking fun at them, and him describing them. He also totally revamped my computer system adding security and other things like a back up and separated drives and a new sound system.
We talked continuously, even as he drove back to California for the next few months and years to come. As a matter of fact, we talked until a little over 10 weeks ago, when he passed in the early afternoon on September 11th. We talked while we were together, separated, with other people, and even while mad at each other. Towards the end when he couldn’t talk any longer he spoke with his eyes, and body language.
I miss my husband, my best friend and not only lost his invaluable company but all of my very best dreams and visions of us growing older in this life together. There’s a vacancy in my life, and surely to our dogs I must look to be a crazy person talking to his spirit all of the time. Oh, I don’t just mope around feeling sorry for myself because I honestly believe he is finally free; free of pain, cancer, the “fight” and gravity pulling his ever so evolved spirit down from where it was going.
Our First Visit After Jer’s Headstone Was finished.
So, the fact that he enriched my life and many others’ as well is enough for me to believe there is good in every single moment, even the unpleasant.
We designed a company named JerSooz Enterprises, logos, a phrase to live by, or jingle; “Change Your Attitude Change Your Life”, websites, and made many friends. There were many ups and downs, usually caused by our differences, which we all have. Looking back it’s no surprise our biggest difference was my inability to understand why he was always in such a hurry.
I know the answer to that now, it’s because he didn’t have much time. Forget the should have could have ought to have and only if’s~ there’s no place in this life for all of that. That is in the past and we’re not going that way.
I would like to personally thank all of Jer’s friends from Avaya who wrote the wonderful letters and cards and sent the gift baskets. Mike and Laverne in particular sent the most fabulous one which included a baby fruit tree (we named it “Jer”) and all kinds of wonderful little treats. How did you know he loved fruit trees? I will remember you always because the basket is a much needed magazene holder in our living room. We will remain in touch for other reasons and again Jer has enriched my life by bringing you two wonderful people into it!
A little note, all apologies to Jer’s sister who asked that I photoshop myself out of this picture and send only one of the stone. To this I say it might be best if she go visit there and take the picture she desires … pretty certain he’s already gone to where he’s going and the stone’s not going anywhere.
May the love of my life rest in peace. I have gratitude for every moment we shared in our short time together in this life.